I just dont know anymore

Have you ever felt like your someone else? The observer side of me the thought side of me isnt truely out there. Is that wrong? Are we really just living a dream within a dream. I just feel like screaming and dying and saying FUCK THIS WORLD but I feel like its wrong to do that for some unknown reason to me but this unkown reason is enough for me not to do those things. I wonder if its weird to feel like that. I remember that this world is something not to be taken for granted but why doesnt that moment of remembering stay with me throughout all my moments. Its funny becuase I can get all depressed and pessimistic but in a instant can just laugh it off. I guess cuz I cant take anything about myself too serisouly becuase things are always changing. In ways ranting about depressing thoughts always end up as something I would prefer not to do. I feel like I need to find a way to be more me.