You know what I hate ? Jealousy.

death

Today a lot of the issues have been stressing me out. I have one dog and two cats that I have had since I was 12 years old. (Molly, Flash, and Daisy)

I'm 20 years old now and after I met my boyfriend I took it upon myself to rescue one of his cats from the street. She was extremely emaciated and needed help or she definitely was going to die. Everything was going fine but then she had kittens and a whole other problem came in. We were only able to give 3 away to homes and we were left with one. I recently moved out of my moms house to a place where, of course, not many pets are allowed. Plus the house is too small to have that many pets. We took my boyfriends cat and the kitten with us, (Kitty and Mugwai, who has grown a lot bigger than his mom)

my cats stay with my mom and my dog stays with my uncle, who lives on the first floor of where my mom lives. Molly my dog is going to be 11 years old and her health is not very good. She has arthritis and I've been buying her medicine and food to help her. My uncle has been neglecting her and shes been depressed. I left her with my uncle because I was under the impression that she was happiest with him. She always cries to be with him and its hard for my mom to keep her upstairs with her. I want to find a home for her or something but I just don't know whats going to happen. I wish I could just have a big enough house where I could take all my pets and give them the best life possible. I want to find a bigger place and stop having to worry about their health and happiness. I feel guilty because i sometimes feel as though I left them behind. I just want them to be happy and I want to have everything that will let me do anything I can for their happiness. I want to give them the best life for the remainder of their years.

Tuesday

Last night I had a dream I went to a gig at my cousins house (which is what I really ended up doing in real life today). It turned into a nightmare because 2 of their dogs and my cousins girlfriend started bleeding all over the place. It was horrible.


Synchronizations today: My dream came true, Micheal Jackson fbi files released on the news right after I was asking Ivan about it , Ivan and the doors, comedian who jokes about how weed makes your life better, Found the ikea stickers that I've been wanting at Saint Vincents for less than a 1$ brand new , etc....(I just like to note weird coincidences.)

I got a set of 4 worth about 16$ for less than 1$ at st. Vincents ^_^ score!!!


Highlights of today: It was Roberts day off today so this morning was thee best. Waking up with the love of my life is always the greatest part of my day. We went to saint Vincents De Paul and goodwill and got the best deals ever. We only spent 20$ for 4 bags full of the bombest things ever. I was able to score everything I wanted. I never would have guessed I would find all that stuff there and some of it was still brand new.

Biggest highlights today= Seeing a ufo when coming back home today. The feeling of shock when I saw it was strong.

And kissing Robert goodnight. ^-^

Hmmm. today is the beginning of winter soltice which means its the darkest day of the year.

Lately my mind has been bothering me. My thoughts have been clouding the beauty in the days.



Things i hate about myself.
1.) I'm insecure w/ how people perceive me
2.) I worry about how I will feel when the people i love will die
3.) I always think about situations that scare and worry me
4.) I just don't now why i cant be happy sometimes



Things i love about myself.
1.) my ability to see the bigger picture
2.) Being blessed with having a family who loves me
3.) my music
4.) my mind
5.) my art
6.)my humor
7.) my dreams
8.) my passion to love





what keeps me calm at night is remembering the good things. its all about remembering

Dreams of last night

Oh my god welcome to the world of the craziness in Sen's mind. It's very embarrassing to actually write down everything that happens in my dreams so I might cut some of it out until I get more comfortable writing stuff like this on the internet. So last night I had the weirdest dream. I had just watched Naruto and was thinking about fatal frame before I went to sleep so what do you know lol I had dreams related to those topics. I cant remember everything exactly but all I know is a lot of people got killed in order to change the breakfast menu to include eggs and sausage. That part of the dream wasn't very important though, but I remember my dad telling me thats why everyone died, and I was thinking that's kinda like what happened in that episode of Naruto where Itachi killed everyone in his village. ( Itachi is Sasuke's older brother in the anime Naruto. Pretty bomb anime I'd recommend to anyone.) Any ways, after that it was time to go to sleep. I was all of a sudden in my old house and for some reason Robert (my boyfriend) didn't want to sleep with me in my room. Instead he wanted to sleep in the living room with my cousin and my brother which made me very upset.
Then the dream fast forwarded and I remember thinking that I was in a bunk bed and he was sleeping on the bottom of me. I kept on trying to get up and go to the bottom of the bed to talk to him but for some reason I kept on waking up. I was trying my hardest not to fall back asleep and to get up and talk to him. For some reason when I was awake I still thought that the dream was real and that Robert was sleeping below me. I felt as though he hadn't slept with me the whole night. I was extremely confused as to what was reality. After I came close to remembering I would fall back asleep and be in the reality of the dream again. I was struggling so much to just talk to him that my dream all of a sudden turned into a nightmare. I was in the scariest part of the horror game fatal frame running away with Robert from the most horrible looking ghosts. I had always hoped I would never have a nightmare about that.

(This is kinda what the ghost looked like)


(This is the room I was in and this is the ghost in the game that I was running from but I couldn't find the picture where you can see what she really looks like when you fight her.)

hi

I live right next to Downtown Los Angeles. My life is pretty crazy and keeps me entertained in quirky ways. Today was a regular day. I just decided to start this blog website because I just want to have a way of connecting myself with others through as many outlets I can find. I'm not the best writer and rarely am able to keep up with things like this but I always just want to try it out. Who knows maybe this time this blog thing can work out. Anyways if your reading this it was nice getting to connect with you =).

Tomorrows another day in the like of Sen. I guess you could say I have an average life. I wake up in the mornings, feed a angry little trouble maker Mugwai and kitty, (Yes, he looks all innocent in this picture, but looks can be deceiving lol just kidding I love him, but he does love to bother me.)


turn on the computer and check all my"mail", I research stuff, clean, wait for Robert to get home, play video games watch movies, and go on secrete adventures =P. I'm Pretty normal.. I think? . Although people always tell me I'm weird so I maybe what I think is normal is probably way off.

My plan is to be able to look at this blog in the future and be at a point in my life where I can laugh because of how much I accomplished. I don't know if that made sense but anyways my goal in the future is to be famous ^_^. I don't know if that's an absurd dream but it seems like a fun challenge to try out. I just want to meet people and learn things and connect more. I want to give more and be able to show my love more. I will admit I do have funny interests that really no one would ever guess. Most of the time I keep my thoughts to myself because I don't want people to think I'm crazy. However I have come to a point where I really just feel that people actually like to hear my craziness for some odd reason lol. Forgive me if I'm boring you if your still reading all this. I guess I'm going to go to bed now. Thanks, I send all the love and light your way its the least I can do for taking some of your time.

Goodnight.




Memory's of the day: stomach aches =( , bank troubles, and the love of my life Robert by my side making all the worries of my day go away xoxoxo

To do list: Continue blog.

Video guaranteed to make you laugh:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJYCp8I9qUs&feature=PlayList&p=51F793CB8107CCF4&index=41

(one of my hobbies is always finding the best videos the internet has to offer and sharing it with everyone I know so check out the link. I BET your going to laugh. =P enjoy..)